… but what does your husband think?

Recently I shared about my always changing hairstyle and in my last post I shared a picture of myself that was taken the day I published that article. And as you can see from the many styles I’ve had to what my hair looks like now, I have changed my hair a lot and it has been getting shorter by the day. And to be honest with you, I feel fabulous with it! I’ve actually received great feedback from family, friends, and coworkers about the new look. Most times it is: “Wow, you went shorter! It looks really good on you. You have the face for it“( I am not 100% sure what the “face for it” really means but I will take it as a compliment) or “It looks great Kim. It totally suits you. I don’t think I could cut my hair that short“( but you know you wanna so give it a try!). And 90% of the time their compliment is followed by “but what does your husband think of it? or “does your husband like it?“… ¡Ay Dios Mio! That’s why we are here.

Let me tell you that I know, believe, trust that Diego is my soulmate. Does this mean we agree on everything? Absolutely not! I have a post coming to share about the struggles marriages and relationships face but for now let me just say that there are many things we disagree on. Hairstyles? Yup, that can be one of them. I’ve cut my hair many times over the almost 11 years we’ve been together. Did he liked it every time? Not really. Did he loved every hair color I’ve had? Not really. Have I loved every hairstyle Diego has had since we’ve been together? Not really. Have I loved every hair color he’s had? Not really. But this is exactly what I intend to share with you: just because you are in a committed relationship (marriage or it’s complicated status) it does not mean that you are not allowed to have your own opinion, taste, or you are prevented from doing certain things.

My husband has said that in his opinion long hair is nicer in a woman. But how I see it is: Do I want to continue with my long hair when it is all damaged because I had it bleached and colored and now it looks dull and frizzy? Hell to the NO! So sure I do too look beautiful, gorgeous, and sexy with long hair but I prefer to cut all the damaged hair completely off and start from scratch. That is my personal taste. That is the way I prefer it. Sure I could cut small bits at a time over a long period of time so I keep the length while slowly removing the damaged hair but I rather to do it all at once. The same has happened with bangs. I cut them, outgrow them, cut them again, outgrow them again and so forth a gazillion times. Has my husband shared his preference for no bangs? Yes he has. Have I listened to it? Nope, not really. Does this mean his opinion doesn’t count or I don’t care for it? Well, that’s exactly what I need you to understand: I love him, I appreciate his opinion but it is okay if I don’t always compromise around his opinion or to please his preference and rather do what I want to do.

And this is a two-way street you know. There has been a few times where my husband has cut his hair too short for my liking or kept too long for my liking and he has also applied some color that I just wasn’t crazy about. Was any of these a reason to fight over or , even worse, end the relationship? Of course not! I am a bit of a crazy person but these aren’t really things worth fighting for. Why? Because my husband is allowed to try new styles without me judging or trying to change that. And just like anything in life, we change or evolve over the years and so does our style.

Now, I know this “I can do whatever I want and you can do whatever you want” thing can easily twist and create conflict in a relationship that lacks a strong foundation. But we’re here 10+ years later and we are only growing stronger as a couple, so yes we can do this because we know that this means doing things as the individual person each one is that will not hurt the other person or the relationship. There’s a big difference here. A huge one. If this is missed, then yes having your own opinions, tastes, likes within the relationship can’t happen and it could potentially lead to troubles. And as I have been walking down “Shorter Hair Lane” over the last couple of months, my husband has remained supportive of it. Why? Because he loves me and he knows that is something I want to try and if really truly madly deeply looks just plain awful, then it can grow back long again. He hasn’t stopped me from trying new things. It is actually the opposite, he encourages me to do things and take risks because he is my safety net. “Try it if you want babe” those words mean a lot to me because I know he supports me no matter what.

So what does my husband REALLY think about my hair? Ask him because he is such a loving man he will always compliment me and make me feel the most beautiful woman in his world. And for sakes of this article, here are some of the many looks we have rocked over the last years. We try new things. We have fun. We accept our differences. We love each other.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss

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