Are you a stay-at-home mom or a working mom? Is one better than other? Well… you know people always have an opinion about everything and the way we raise our children is most definitely one of those things people are dying to judge. It seems there is no way to get this one right… oh dear!
If you are stay-at-home, some will say that you are the perfect mom because you are there for your kids. You take them to school, clean the house, make lunch, pick them from school, feed them that fresh yummy lunch you just cooked, do homework with them, take them to their karate or soccer class, cook dinner, prepare them for bed, read together and they are off to sleepy-land. You are there for them. All day. Every day. You are the perfect mom in most people’s eyes. So, what could be wrong? Well, depending who do you ask, there is always a but…
- but you don’t bring home any income.
- but you have to ask your husband for money.
- but, don’t you get bored?
- but you don’t empower women in bigger roles.
- but, BUT, BUT!
If you are a working mom, some will say that you are the perfect mom because you teach your kids to work hard. You might just drop them off to school and head to work and rush home in the afternoon to catch the last minutes of their game or take them to a piano class, you cook dinner, get them ready for bed, read with them and they are off to sleepy-land. You are there as much as you can but they see that you work hard, that you have a good job, that people respect you. So what could be wrong? Well, no shocker here that depending who do you ask, there is always a but…
- but you miss out on so much.
- but you can’t always join their school play or their soccer game.
- but it most suck that your husband doesn’t earn enough for you to stay-at-home.
- but you need a rich husband so you can stay-at-home instead.
- but you don’t spend enough time with your kiss.
- but you must not love them enough to leave them all day.
- but, BUT, BUT!
Always a BUT! Is one really better than the other? Or is it really that is no perfect way to be a mom? I think it all comes down to your specific circumstances. This is why I absolutely hate generalizations of any kind. I have no doubt that the majority of moms out there do whatever they possible can to provide the best for their kids. Depending on what you think is best and depending on your family needs, these can be many different things. If you stay-at-home, work 10 hours, work 40 hours, work 70 hours, it is because that is what your family needs. One is not always prettier or better than the other. You work a lot, you don’t see them a lot but that is what your family needs because maybe you are a single mom or maybe both you and your husband work because life is tough, bills are high, money is tight and you need the extra income. Whether others agree or not, you are doing what is best for your family. And if the opposite case you stay at home and do everything with them, this is no reason for others to think that your life is boring and that you have nothing to bring to the table. You are doing what you think is best for your family whether they like it or not.
So why do we have to compare them and judge? I was thinking about this because in a group at work someone said that according to some article kids of working moms tend to do better later in life because they see their mom as an inspiration and they don’t hold a grudge for the time she missed… are you kidding me?! I don’t think this is always the case. Every circumstance is different and every result is different. So what I want you to think about is that sadly there a bit too many people out there just waiting for others to fail and if you aren’t failing for their pleasure they will guilt you into their negativity. So please, please, please, pretty please do not allow others make you feel bad because of the type of mom you are.
I am currently a working mom, and I spend as much time with my kiddos as I can. Right about now, this is what works for us. Maybe in the future things will be different and I can stay-at-home with them. Regardless of the situation, I am not less of a mom for being home or being at work. I will always do everything I can to care the best way possible for my little ones. So in the battle of stay-at-home moms vs. working moms the winner is… both!
that is all!